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Super Sunday Confusion

So, it’s an easy call who to root for in the Super Bowl if you’re an Ohio State fan, right? Clearly the San Francisco 49ers – who boast four former Buckeyes on their roster in Alex Boone, Ted Ginn Jr., Larry Grant and Donte Whitner – are the team you need to back this Sunday.

Pretty sure this guy was not a fan of Jim Harbaugh's guarantee in 1986.

Not to mention the fact that their opponent – the Baltimore Ravens – have exactly zero former OSU players on their squad. (OK, maybe I will mention it.)

Also, the Ravens are the team that stole the Browns away from Cleveland for three seasons. Their former owner, the late Art Modell, makes LeBron James look like the mayor of Cleveland by comparison.

We’ve done many informal polls over the years on Bucknuts, and not surprisingly in the least, there’s a higher percentage of Browns fans on this site than any other NFL team.

Second-highest is the Cincinnati Bengals and third is the Pittsburgh Steelers. And whether you’re a Browns, Bengals or Steelers fan, you hate you some Ravens. You despise them. AFC North pride? Excuse me? You think this is the SEC or something?

Therefore, it’s a completely easy call on Super Sunday: Go 49ers!

Wait, who is the Niners’ head coach again? [Sound of breaks screeching.]

Jim Harbaugh? The same cocky Jim Harbaugh who guaranteed a victory over Ohio State in 1986 when he was Michigan’s quarterback? (And he was right, barely. UM won 26-24 as OSU missed a last-second field goal at Ohio Stadium in a wild one.) If you were a diehard Buckeye fan in 1986, “hate” probably wasn’t a strong enough word to explain how you felt about Jim Harbaugh.

I’m supposed to root for that guy?

Maybe Sunday would be a good time to watch the movie Friday.

And full disclosure here: I’m a Bengals fan. As you probably know, Cincinnati has made it to two Super Bowls and lost in heartbreaking fashion in both of them, especially the 1989 Super Bowl (’88 season). Who was the Bengals’ opponent in both of those games? Those damn San Francisco 49ers.

I’m supposed to root for that team?

And hey Steeler fan, you guys own the NFL record with six Super Bowl championships. Guess how many the Niners have?

Five.

You want them tying you on Sunday?

Bottom line here: I guess I’ll pull for the team with the most Buckeyes. But is there an American Greed marathon on just in case I can’t bear watching the HarBowl? What about Locked Up Abroad? Any old 30-for-30 documentaries that will be re-airing? Maybe it's time to pop in a good movie like Pulp Fiction or Friday?

Hey, I usually love watching the Super Bowl. But I can’t remember ever being less excited about the big game before. At least when the Steelers make it every other year I know I’ll be rooting for their opponent. (Sorry, Steeler fan. Not really though.) Or when the Patriots make it, you automatically root against Tom Brady. These are the easy things in life. But this year? Disgusting.

Again, due to Boone, Ginn, Grant and Whitner, I’ll put my hand over my face, barely open one eye and somewhat “root” for the 49ers. Honestly, it would be nice to see one of the former Bucks have a big, positive impact on the game. I even felt momentarily good for Steeler fans when Santonio Holmes helped win the Super Bowl four years ago with a spectacular, last-minute touchdown catch. (But then I quickly remembered Ben Roethlisberger threw the pass and the fact that I strongly disliked the Steelers. Worlds are colliding, Jerry!)

Also, I’m being fed garbage all week about what a great guy Ray Lewis is. You mean when he’s not helping cover up a double-murder? You mean when he’s not taking PEDs and lying about it? Please tell me on the heels of Lance Armstrong and Manti Te’o you’re not allowing your intelligence to be insulted to the point where you believe anything that comes out of Ray Lewis’ mouth.

Final thought on Super Bowl XLVII: Thank God for gambling.

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