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Ok guys...those of you who are young married or have a significant other woman in the house, and you are full of sauce and vinegar to put up the Christmas Tree WITH HER-DON'T!!!
Here is what you do..carry the tree to the "put -up spot" for her,(if live, I have wired crooked ones to the wall) and all the trimmigs......say "have fun"....pour youself a cold one(for me iced tea)..get the remote and find a game on the TV. Don't try to solve the decoration part......trust me after 50 years of doing that......let her decorate the tree...and afterward tell her how "nice it looks", even if you have to go outside and puke after looking at it!
Why you ask? the arguments that insue from trying to decorate a tree together are not worth it..AND trust me you will not win them, even if you think you did...You will pay..trust me!
With most women, if it is their idea....roll wiht it...if they ask your advice...roll with it..its like "does this dress make me look fat?...the anwser. is alway "No dear, you look lovely in it"..
it beats yelling out "You Betcha"... roll with it.... and for "extra points' when its all done, come in with some classy comment(probably out of your character) like'''your treatment of the roping or tree wrapping, really made it"...this will build the trend for the following years, and help you get out of the decorating task!!!!!! ha ha..
Have you gone thru this? Share please any "tree stories"......ha ha
This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by Bigjimmie 19 months ago
WELL THANKS !! This is 38 years too late!!!!
* I put up the tree
* I do the lights
* I do all the ornaments
* I do all of it . Oh she does say Good Job Honey !!
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY USEFUL !!!
After 13 years of marriage I can vouch for the value of Jimmies advice. Heed it or suffer the consequences.
JJ- I would have liked to have been able to have done that--but I have one of those women (after 50+ years)that if it isn't her idea..forget it..ha ha..I remember in the early years we always had a big fight trying to decorate the tree.....we saw things differently, I guess.....finally I decided why am I getting my "underware in a knot" over this tree thing..and just went to plan A as I posted.....its been sweet..ha ha....Often in life there are too many Chiefs and not enough indians......I became an indian on tree decorating day...
HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE
My duties entail putting up the tree, hanging the lights on the tree and she does everything else inside and out........our house is decorated from Halloween thru Easter, just changing from holiday to holiday and I do none of it........it's my wife's thing and I still back and enjoy.........
This is too funny... Just this weekend... I started to put on the lights...
She looked at me and said... No honey... you need to do this... I handed her the plug and said you do it... and watched the 2nd half of the BIG Championship game...
Of course a heartfelt "WOW that looks great!"... and "You have a knack for that"... periodically really helped...
In the end she was quite happy with herself. And I was as well...
Everybody was happy!
I put up the tree and she decorates. God Bless the genius that invented the pre-lit Christmas tree. I decorate my man shed and kennel for my own enjoyment. Everyone else decorates the front of their house for their neighbors..I decorate the backyard for me.
In my children's younger years, we would cut and haul our tree back from Ohio over Thanksgiving. Pretty sure I'm the only one to have a real Blue Spruce in Myrtle Beach.
Oh my gosh so true! So five years ago the wife says "Can I go buy a little bigger tree?" sure I don't care. She comes home with a 12 foot tree that is pre lit. We have gotten into a fight about this tree every year since. It is stored in 2 giant bag/tarps in which it breaks down into 5 pieces. It losses as many needles as a real tree and half the lights quit working. I'm on this 6ft ladder leaning over trying to get the top in place and tell hold this ladder beacause I feel it moving! She grabs a hold of 1 ankle. I'm 6.2 and 230, you can see where I'm going! I've since bought a 20 ft ladder and put the tree up alone and let her decorate with the kids!
We decorate with the kids. They get the low branches. I get the high ones. The wife unpacks the stuff and hands it to us. So far, no arguments. Oh, we have a fake tree that I move down to the basement, reassemble it, then cover it with a sheet. That way I don't have to spend a half hour straightening out the branches. No arguments so far.
Bigjimmie, your advice is good if it was one tree but when she went to multiple trees, I plan a golf trip with the guys the second week of November every year and I come home and Christmas is up. I just have to fund new ornaments, santa's and a new tree every couple of years. But I do come in and say what a wonderful job she did each year.
She now does 4 trees, 42 santa's, 34 Snowmen and 122 angels as well as her presidential tree--since 1983 the white house has been offering an ornament for christmas trees and she has every one. She should have been Mrs. Claus. It is fun when the grandkids come.
The Old Do you wanna be Happy or Right , pick Happy every time at Home !!!
I have the kids bring all the crap up from the basement, then I'm nowhere to be found. I don't even do the lights outside. The only thing my 80" wingspan gets roped into doing is putting the angel tree topper on; which I always get the sheat for it being crooked.
Spot on Jimmie. I buy the tree, mount it in the stand, make sure it is plumb and walk away. From that point it is all hers.
Good days, bad days --- always a Buckeye. Time to begin the assault on the 2014 BCS National Championship
After 14 years I have pretty much taken full responsibility for decorating. She let's me put my trains around the tree ( the oldest one is 50 years old thaty dad got when he was 12) I do all the outside lights and yard decorations. Then I make all adjustments she suggests and we don't argue.
On television it always looks like a happy, joyful, family event. Not in my house. It turns into WWIII in a hurry.
My system is this,
I bring the tree in while no one is in the house except me.
I put up the tree and then string the lights.
I walk away until everyone else comes home decides to finish the decorations.
While they're all inside screaming at each other because someone hung an ornament in the wrong spot, I go outside and start hanging Christmas lights around the house.
This keeps them busy and I don't have to worry about having them outside telling me that I'm doing it wrong.
It also gets them so mad at each other that they are sick of Christmas decorating and the last thing they want to do is come outside and help with more.
When it's all over, everyone is happy for a few hours and things are peaceful. Then the F'ing house cat does his thing and shreds the tree and manages to start all the trouble over again. Usually he does this while I'm watching a game. Then he runs past me and I swear he looks straight at me with a look that says " ha ha, Got you sucker" on his face.
Merry Christmas everyone.
My advise is stay single and never get a house cat.
This is so funny and true to my life as well. The only difference is usually my wife is sitting on the couch drinking wine with her mom and sister pointing out limbs on the tree that I failed to light correctly. Usually a raging fire is burning in the stove and I am sweating through my long sleeve shirt as they talk about how my ladder is too far away from the 12 ft tree that I cut down by myself the day before. After I finish my first 6 pack, I get out the decorations and have a five year running argument with my sister in law over the ten pound star that she swears will sit perfectly on top of the tree. This star is too heavy for the white house tree! I have learned to enjoy this argument over the years because some of my fondest moments as a grown man are proving my sister in law wrong or really guiding her down the path of self doubt in her own ideas. Oh yeah, usually my 43 yr old always single brother in law is down in MY man cave watching football on MY 60 inch LCD tv drinking my second six pack. That's why I always buy a celebratory bomber that is hidden for my sole enjoyment. A new tradition that started this year was my four year old daughter had her own step ladder that she kept asking to move around the tree so she could check the lights to make sure that they " LOOKS GOOD FROM HERE DADDY! RIGHT MOMMY?". I actually laughed a few times myself at that one. Honestly guys, this is truly how it goes when you live the life of a saint and allow your wife's whole family...sister, mom, and sometimes brother to live with you. It works out in regards to babysitting but it's like having 5kids instead of 2......other than that, merry Christmas
This post was edited by stoyboy1024 19 months ago
Same problems with the 12' I bought from Sam's Club. One year and half the damn lights are out.
Because I am the Grinch I'm going to use this thread as blackmail for all your wives.. Just wait til she finds out..
Great advice, Jimmie. As usual..
_ichigan Football would be Minnesota without The Great State of Ohio!! O-H! I-O!
In addition to Christmas, I have taken to purposely screwing up at all indoor chores. It has been perfected to a balance of the following:
1) Can't make it obvious, or your looking at divorce.
2) Clearly plausible screw-ups that are right up your alley (break a lamp you don't care about the first time you "help" dusting).
3) Small fits of rage while trying to "help" (jam the sweeper and then get a little pissed off and yank the cord out of the wall sideways while mumbling curse words).
4) You probably could clean that dish with another 5 min of hard scrubbing, but don't (let her see it and worry about her friends or family having dirty dishes while visiting)
5) The balance part is that you can't be worthless. Make sure your taking care of the outside house stuff.
I can watch a game whenever I want now.
Best of luck and for God sake don't let your wives read this.
Good Posts folks--really enjoyed them.....lots of Christmas decoration stories out there I am sure......some memories..maybe you older guys/gals remember---remember when you dad used to haggle the tree price at the lot...strap it on the car top wiht some hemp rope,,,.then come home and build that "wooden X" stand, cut a couple of inches off of the tree stump and then nail it onto the X? wow does that bring back memmories..then us kids would help Mom drape icicles over the limbs, and we would get out the old large colored light bulb string and hope that all of the bulbs worked so that they all would light!It seemed that when I tried to help hang the glass bulbs on the tree, I would always drop one, and it would explode in a million pieces on the wood floor......being big and clumsy, Mom sort of probably expected that ..ha ha...as I remember now, after dad nailed the X on the tree he did not help decorate....proves my therory..ha ha....even back then in the 40's.....
Guys, all of these stories hit home and are hilarious. Cheers to the holidays and all the memories and good times they provide with our families and loved ones. Merry to all.....
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