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I was offered a job in Summerville, SC and I was looking at getting some honest advice... My fiance and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. We met in college, however we have spent time apart before due to military obligations. She is currently going to graduate school and I live 3 hours away so we get to see each other one to two times a month (It has been like this for 9 months now). I was just offered a great job in another state but its about 10 hours away, in a car. I do not currently have a steady job and with this job I would be making enough to fly up a couple weekends a month. She however thinks this is bad for our relationship. She graduates in a year and a half. Am I selfish for wanting to take this job and move away even though we would be able to see each other the same amount?
This post was edited by bgsu2012 12 months ago
Take the job. NEVER let p*ssy lead your financial decisions , never.
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How much longer will she be in grad school? And is the plan for her to move to be closer after? How often do you guys talk, skype, etc? Seems odd that she would be against the move as it sounds like you would actually perhaps see each other more?
What kind of job is it? Once in lifetime opportunity?
She will be in grad school another year and half. But we talk on te phone or Skype every couple days. However, our plan has been for the other one of us to move with whoever gets a stable job first.
My wife and I hopscotched several times in our nearly 28 years of marriage -- even on different continents (including when we were engaged). This was during good and bad economic times. It's always hard to advise as each person's case and interpersonal relationships are different, but if the desire for the relationship to continue is strong enough, it will. Further, right now, securing a full-time job, especially one you really want, is pretty crucial unless you are a leprechaun sitting on a hidden pot of gold. Good luck with whatever you decide.
But it's a great teaching job. It's about as good of a job that I can get while being just out of college and it's in the top rated district in the state. Plus I have to start paying loans back so I need more than what subbing pays.
Take it. If she can't support you in bettering yourself, you guys won't last anyways.. Just my opinion. I've turned down a awesome job for a girl because I had a "good job" and I regret it everyday
My folks live in Summerville. It is a nice place to live. Not sure where you live now to compare it to.
Gut instinct for you is to move. You do not live together or that close now.
Does she have a ton of family in Ohio? Is it her over all dream/plan for you all to live in Ohio and have kids there etc?
Need more data to really give you an answer, but Summerville and the over all area has some good stuff about it. Not for everyone though.
Do you like the Summerville area? Know anything about it? What makes you want to go besides the job?
How was your recovery from spinal removal surgery? Have you regained the ability to walk? Good thing she is going to pay for your student loans. When she completes grad school, do you think she will move to another city if the opportunity presents itself? Yepper and she will tell you to move with her since you are not working and have nothing to lose.
You will not be far from Charleston which is a city with some charm. Every day you are removed from your gradation date, it becomes a little harder to find a job.
Hating scUM since 1964
I went into the Army for 6 years. I still married my high school sweetheart who stayed in Ohio. We have been married 18 years. Do what is best. She is doing what is best for her. If it is meant to be she will find a way to make it work.
This post was edited by Buckeye Warrior 12 months ago
My first advice is don't come to Bucknuts for relationship advice LOL. But since you are here I'll throw my 2 cents in. This is your first test of marital life even though you are not married yet. When you get married you will have a ton of decisions like this, so if you can or cannot work through this will be very telling.
To me it sounds like there is more to the story than just distance. Find out why she is objecting so much to this. Does she not want to live in SC when she is done? Is the money (from her perspective) not good enough? I'm guessing. You need to get face to face and spend some extended time to find out what her concerns are. They may be legit.
She will then feel better about this (if you can address her concerns adequately) or continue to balk but you can say you have made a good faith effort. If she balks, well then you gotta decide if you want the relationship more or the job more. Good luck.
"Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state."
Summerville is a very nice Town outside of Charleston. You will like the enviroment and the city is very unique. Great place to start a career.
This... you only see each other so often yet she thinks moving far away only to see her more often is bad? Shes being selfish.. take the job
Great opportunity and I hope you take it. If she's the one she'll see the opportunity for you and went to support you.
I agree with coolrah....bucknuts isnt the best place, but I do understand with the magnitude of this personal decision for you the reasoning for reaching out to the nation. That being said let me shoot you with some reality.
The womans vagina is at a all time high right now. They are being very selective because of the power and also extremely arrogant. You have to read in between your own statements. If she is telling you that it would cause strain and its the same amount of time that you still have been spending with her, she is looking for a way out. Unfortunately it probably means she is already fucking or closing in on fucking or being with someone else.
If its in your heart to move take the job. If you stay, you will be dealing with her fighting to find a way to break it off with you for the next 6 months. Either way, you will be her bitch because your decision seems like it would be primarily based on her rather than both of yours happiness.
But whatever you decide, do it with balls and stand behind your decision no matter what the outcome is.
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