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'Twas the night before Signing Day, and throughout Buckeye Nation,
Bucknuts.com was stirring, with great anticipation,
The jerseys were hung by the lockers with care,
In hopes that St. Urban soon would be there.
The “Bucknuts” were nestled all snug in their dens,
While visions of glory danced in their heads.
Coach had completed a season, Undefeated,
And since the Meeshigan win, Buckeye Nation had tweeted:
“Come hither and yon talent, both near and far,
But stay the hell out if you don’t have (at least) four stars,”
Then out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see WHAT was the matter!
Away to the ‘net I flew like a flash,
Went to Bucknuts.com , and I clicked on the dash…
There were talented recruits who were newly-signed Bucks,
That struck fear in the hearts of those MEESHigan F*cks,
And there were Oregon fans crying, in disbelief and horror,
“How could this HAPPEN?”, they said, “Urb STOLE our top SCORER!”
“OSU is Overrated!”, said one obnoxious Duck,
But who’s laughing now Jack, that Dontre’s a BUCK!
Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But Wilson, EZE-E and James Clark were all here!
But wait! Just a minute! Who was leading the pack?
It was none other than Brax who would lead the attack!
So ‘sick’ was Urb’s lot of new Buckeyes that came,
He blew his damn whistle, then called them by name!
There was Marshall and Bosa, then Burrows and Price,
He looked over his list and DAY-AMNN!! it looked NICE!
There was Barrett and Lewis and Sprinkle and Lisle,
Hold your pants on Bucks, this might take a while,
There was Smith and Conley, Taivon Jacobs and Lee,
There’s Munger and Worley, and of course, EZE-E.
There’s Townsend and Gardner and then Michael Hill,
Let's not forgot Baugh, that would NOT go over well,
"Now, Dontre! Now Elder! Now, J. Clark and Johnson!
On, Mitchell! Vonn Bell! Hurry now, get your Fax IN!”
“To the top of the Shoe! To the top of Hall!
Now kick some A**! Kick some A**! Kick some A**, ALL!"
And that wasn’t all that was going on now,
Buckeye Nation cheered loudly and Brady Hoke wondered, "How?”
As his fat head contemplated, “how long ‘till I’m canned?”
There playing the fight song, was The Best Damn Band in the Land!
And then, in a twinkling, as I read on the ‘net,
There was dancing and cheering, I was covered in sweat!
As I clicked on my mouse, and the page was reloaded,
There was Kurelic's article, “Ohio State is now loaded! : The Impact”
“This class is top-notch”, said Coombs, “straight-up!”
"Not even “MattC509” could f*ck this bandwagon up,"
In an offseason now filled with joy and with laughter,
Many more posts would abound, especially hereafter,
BigJimmie, of course, would tell really old stories,
Of Buckeyes past and all of their glories,
Then Bax and Biddle chime in with content galore,
A new era has begun, full of more Buckeye lore!
Helwagen would write to his heart’s content,
“What to Watch: Ohio State is Completely Hell Bent!”
And last of course, was Steve Wiltfong,
Saying “now, for the Bucks, nothing seems to go wrong!”
In Two-Thousand Twelve (2012) St. Urb had set the tone, it was clear,
Michigan would be crushed in “The Game" each year.
St. Urb’s “Angry Bucks” had gone twelve and oh (12-0),
And the NCAA, to a postseason, said “NO!”
What a ridiculous game, the National Championship would be,
There were Choir Boys up north and toothless Alabamm-ee.
A better game would've been, had the Bucks gotten the nod,
It would have been Ohio State’s turn to plant the Dome in the sod.
But St. Urb used that to his advantage just then,
His Angry Team would get no respect, yet again!
He’s creating a Monster, “it’s only a matter of time”,
Now the plate on his door reads: “Dr. Urban Franken-Meyer-Stein.”
It wouldn’t be long he could once again thrive,
As the Monster, his creation, was fast be-coming A-Live!
St. Urban was here, and more wins would abound!
And Meeshitagain, for a decade MORE, would be down!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
He filled the 2-deep, then he turned with a jerk!
Then he sprang to his feet, to his team blew his whistle,
And away they flew like a JDAM missile!
Then I heard him exclaim, as he said for good reason,
"Happy Signing Day, Bucknuts, and to all a good 2013 season!"
This post has been edited 11 times, most recently by Duplic8tor 17 months ago
The Father, The Son... well, it's the
The Holy Trinity... as I see it.
Lmao gotta love the MattC jab! Well done!
Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.” - Woody Hayes
I'm gonna go ahead and say you just won the internet.
Dang. That was the dope show. thx and well done.
DAMN! I hate to read, but I rather enjoyed that, thanks. I always save what I think is my best present for last. Maybe we have one more to open(Bell). +1
north till ya smell it, west till ya step in it.
Nice I knew someone was gonna do this
Michigan arrogance is a resistant bacteria that no amount of humiliation can exterminate. Author, Ramzy Nasrallah
Simply not enough upvotes available for this....very...Very...VERY well done!
Hating scUM since 1964
Thanks. Last year about 45 UVs. My goal is 100 this year. Appreciate it!
I'd give you 100 myself brother if the fates allowed, that was top notch
Duplic8tor, you need to send this to each recruit.
Post it where it's not VIP, then send them a link.
WELL FREAKING DONE!
Simply fantastic. Cadence, rhymes, obviously the subject matter, timing, creativity, everything. Superb!
Woody and Archie.................................. Alex being Alex, ....................................and Woody at Dennison
gessig... sounds great. problem is, I don't really use twitter and wouldn't know how to get it to them. Feel free to copy and send it if you know how. Hopefully it will pump them up.
I don't believe I checked VIP, if I'm not mistaken...
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