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OT - Women should not be allowed to drive.

  • lol I think I'll mosey on over to the Rant thread to catch the X-Rated version of this, Alumnut..lol

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    _ichigan Football would be Minnesota without The Great State of Ohio!! O-H! I-O!

    thepummeler

  • These are great reads.

    My Chinese wife new to the U.S. since June wants to have her DL. No problem as I hate having to truck her everywhere. The scary part is when we're in a parking lot and she tells me to "park here" or "why don't you park there". Well I have to tell her that "no that is a handicapped spot" or "no you can't park where there are yellow stips". Simple stuff like that, and I'm telling myself that when she does get her DL she is an accident waiting to happen. I'm not looking forward to it.

    buckinmedina

  • Griffinfeb said...

    You know what they say: " women drivers, no survivors!"

    My wife ripped the rear view mirror off backing out of the garage as well. Also, last Christmas, driving out of state to my brothers house , I hear a grinding sound every time I stop. " hey Jen how long have the brakes Been grinding ?". " Brakes? I thought that was snow stuck under the car? Had to take the car in out of state for new brakes and rotors..nice! Merry Christmas to me!

    Substitute summer for Xmas and out-of-state Friend for out-of-state Brother and I had exactly the same experience. When the bad pads from all 4 wheels were stacked up, you could still see though them like looking through 4 thin slices of swiss cheese.

    Better story. My cousin was a truck driver and his wife got her license so they could become a driver team. The first time he lets her drive while he catches a few Zs, the truck slows and then hard brakes to a stop. He wakes up to see what's going on. She had ran through a barrier, onto the wrong side of a construction wall and a couple hundred yards into 6" deep freshly laid blacktop, only to slam on the brakes to avoid ramming the blacktop oven. Workers had jumped for their lives. And of course as soon as it came to rest the truck was sinking even deeper into the fresh blacktop...and threatening to melt the sidewalls of the truck's tires. Without breaking deadpan and as the construction crew comes toward them like an angry mob, she jumps over into the passenger seat and says it's his turn to drive.

    JarheadBuck

  • Alumnut, I feel your pain! I had a very similar situation right after thanksgiving. We live in a very large townhouse that we bought last year that has a big 2 and half car garage it's exact dimensions are 24 feet deep by 23 wide. I let my girl park inside the garage because she leaves for work very early around 6 AM. I have my two place snowmobile trailer in one half of the garage so I park out on the street with my Tundra. My woman is getting ready to go to her friend's wedding goes out in the garage and proceeds to back out. About two minutes later she comes in the house crying. I asked her what's wrong and she shows me that she proceeded to rip the front bumper off of her Honda Civic. When I asked her what happened she then told me that she was tired of all my shit taking up all the space in the garage. There is a line right down the middle of the garage that is an expansion joint, my flat deck trailer is 1 and half feet to the right of the center line, snugged right up to the right wall of the garage. Her car is little and there is literally more than 3 feet of space on either side of her car when she parks between the house wall and the trailer in the middle of her spot. Needless to say when I tried to console her, it led to me getting my ass chewed because although I was inside the house minding my business it was my fault for having a trailer. That's female logic! It sucks.

    Bdigitty ●

  • My girlfriend comes home and says "I got some white paint scuffs on my car." I ask from what. She says "I bumped a fence on the side of the road."

    I immediately say how do you BUMP a fence. You either hit it or you miss a fence on the side of the road. Keep in mind we live in NC and weather was perfect that day.

    The car was just scuffed. I go down to see what happened to the fence. Not only did she hit a fence. She jumped a curb, crossed a sidewalk, and side swiped a fence on the OTHER side of the road.

    All she could say as an excuse. "I was trying to text to see if you were home" Really?!?! She was about 2 minutes from home to begin with. It couldn't wait till you saw my truck in the driveway 2 minutes later. I probably wouldn't have responded in time either way.

    reservemickey

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    Go Bucks!

    flbuckeyebob

  • There is a reason that women have very little success in NASCAR.

    Husker Buckeye

  • One of the funniest things I see is my wife backing out of the garage. Maybe some people should have reverse removed from their transmissions.

    MrTbuck

  • Bdigitty said...

    Alumnut, I feel your pain! I had a very similar situation right after thanksgiving. We live in a very large townhouse that we bought last year that has a big 2 and half car garage it's exact dimensions are 24 feet deep by 23 wide. I let my girl park inside the garage because she leaves for work very early around 6 AM. I have my two place snowmobile trailer in one half of the garage so I park out on the street with my Tundra. My woman is getting ready to go to her friend's wedding goes out in the garage and proceeds to back out. About two minutes later she comes in the house crying. I asked her what's wrong and she shows me that she proceeded to rip the front bumper off of her Honda Civic. When I asked her what happened she then told me that she was tired of all my shit taking up all the space in the garage. There is a line right down the middle of the garage that is an expansion joint, my flat deck trailer is 1 and half feet to the right of the center line, snugged right up to the right wall of the garage. Her car is little and there is literally more than 3 feet of space on either side of her car when she parks between the house wall and the trailer in the middle of her spot. Needless to say when I tried to console her, it led to me getting my ass chewed because although I was inside the house minding my business it was my fault for having a trailer. That's female logic! It sucks.

    You better believe it was your fault. At least, it is in your best interest to let her blame you for it. I remember being a single guy and hearing stories of guys wives and girlfriends blaming them for stuff and I could not believe they just accepted it. Now that I am married I see why they let it happen. It is no sweat for us and sometimes they really really need to blame us for stuff. It goes back to the old saying that if momma ain't happy, nobody in the house is happy. I did not believe that one either. I have learned. I have never been one of those guys who will let a woman scream at me. She does not get to berate me or put me in my place. In every house I live in I will be the boss. That will never change. Neither does the fact that if momma ain't happy, nobody in the house is going to be happy. I can stop her from screaming and putting me in my place. I can't stop her from being unhappy. If blaming me for stuff is going to make her happy again, I plead guilty.

    Duane

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    blantoncollier ●

  • My Favorite of all time!

    attachment

    gordo8471 ●

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    Duane

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    loosebelt12

  • MrTbuck said...

    One of the funniest things I see is my wife backing out of the garage. Maybe some people should have reverse removed from their transmissions.

    Maybe that's why Les had a turntable installed in his garage in New Albany. So the wife never has to back out.

    JarheadBuck

  • Duane said...

    My wife is a great driver. You know what she says? Women should not be allowed to drive.

    I nominate her for post of the year!!!

    lounge fly

    tired

  • This is great, I knew that females were the main perpetrator of vehicular carnage and general insanity but this has surpassed all expectations. I feel 100x better now, and I managed to reattach the bumper enough to make the car drivable...and the wife called from work to apologize, so there's a bonus!

    My thanks to the Bucknuts man-club!

    Alumnut

  • Alumnut said...

    Good Lord. My wife just backed out of the garage and managed to rip the front bumper off of her car by getting it hung up on my mother's Expedition.

    I pulled it into the garage last night because of the weather and although it was a little tight there was more than enough room. Just back the damn car out before turning the freaking wheel at full lock!

    So, I'm sitting on the couch watching the news (off this week) the garage opens and I hear the car start up...OK, now back out....CRRiIPSNARL!!!!! What the hell? Go open up the door and look out....damn bumper is ripped halfway off the car in the driveway! Wife - "I'm sorry. You need to tell your mother not to park so close behind the garage! I didn't have any room!" good one there, Danica.

    Yeah, like a giant freaking Expedition that's parked just suddenly filled the area and you couldn't just back out next to it. I pity my Jeep today and hope it makes it home without all the roadcones in Columbus sticking out from the suspension or a SmartCar embedded in the grill.

    I'm certain that by the time she gets home the fiasco will somehow be my fault for sitting in the living room. Everyone out there today, look out for a Blue Jeep Liberty with a red Skydive! bumper sticker in the lower rear window, last seen heading northwest on State Route 33 towards Columbus. Driver considered highly volatile and extremely dangerous!

    dude my wife just got her licsense and I'm scared to let her drive the car. But I've got to get her out there eventually. I feel your pain.

    BucknutsFan465 ●

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    Fish61

  • Alumnut said...

    Good Lord. My wife just backed out of the garage and managed to rip the front bumper off of her car by getting it hung up on my mother's Expedition.

    I pulled it into the garage last night because of the weather and although it was a little tight there was more than enough room. Just back the damn car out before turning the freaking wheel at full lock!

    So, I'm sitting on the couch watching the news (off this week) the garage opens and I hear the car start up...OK, now back out....CRRiIPSNARL!!!!! What the hell? Go open up the door and look out....damn bumper is ripped halfway off the car in the driveway! Wife - "I'm sorry. You need to tell your mother not to park so close behind the garage! I didn't have any room!" good one there, Danica.

    Yeah, like a giant freaking Expedition that's parked just suddenly filled the area and you couldn't just back out next to it. I pity my Jeep today and hope it makes it home without all the roadcones in Columbus sticking out from the suspension or a SmartCar embedded in the grill.

    I'm certain that by the time she gets home the fiasco will somehow be my fault for sitting in the living room. Everyone out there today, look out for a Blue Jeep Liberty with a red Skydive! bumper sticker in the lower rear window, last seen heading northwest on State Route 33 towards Columbus. Driver considered highly volatile and extremely dangerous!

    My wife hit 3 none moving items in 2 months: a trash can on the side of the road, side of the garage, and our fence. She blames it on being pregnant which is further evidence to the threads point.

    Her explanation of hitting the trash can. "I was driving up the street and then I heard a loud 'boom.' I looked back and realized I hit someone's trash can. Why can't people keep their trash cans off the road?!" I responded by asking her if she vilifies everything she runs over.

    This post was edited by jbaseball22 on 12/28/2011 at 3:18 PM

    jbaseball22

  • jbaseball22 said...

    My wife hit 3 none moving items in 2 months: a trash can on the side of the road, side of the garage, and our fence. She blames it on being pregnant which is further evidence to the threads point.

    Her explanation of hitting the trash can. "I was driving up the street and then I heard a loud 'boom.' I looked back and realized I hit someone's trash can. Why can't people keep their trash cans off the road?!" I responded by asking her if she vilifies everything she runs over.

    If your wife is anything like mine, it's clear the can/garage/fence was out to get her.

    The way it's been told to me, it's a freakin miracle my wife's car is in as good of shape as it is now. Every parking lot light pole, guard rail, curb, building and tree is always looking for a chance to jump in front her when nobody's looking. And, of course, that doesn't even count all the inanimate objects I'm purposely putting behind her and in her blind spot whenever she takes her eyes off me.

    JarheadBuck

  • +1 OMG, I am laughing my ass off....God I pray your wife doesn't have a BN account ;-) Hang in there man...roflmao

    signature image

    "And the Message Coming from My Eyes says.....Leave it Alone"

    FlaBuckeye1 ●

  • gordo8471 said...

    My Favorite of all time!

    what exactly is that on the back of the car?

    buckdr ●

  • Duane said...

    You better believe it was your fault. At least, it is in your best interest to let her blame you for it. I remember being a single guy and hearing stories of guys wives and girlfriends blaming them for stuff and I could not believe they just accepted it. Now that I am married I see why they let it happen. It is no sweat for us and sometimes they really really need to blame us for stuff. It goes back to the old saying that if momma ain't happy, nobody in the house is happy. I did not believe that one either. I have learned. I have never been one of those guys who will let a woman scream at me. She does not get to berate me or put me in my place. In every house I live in I will be the boss. That will never change. Neither does the fact that if momma ain't happy, nobody in the house is going to be happy. I can stop her from screaming and putting me in my place. I can't stop her from being unhappy. If blaming me for stuff is going to make her happy again, I plead guilty.

    You and I both know that that's exactly how it works. I'm just like you, I don't take shit, but I definitely pick my battles with her.

    Bdigitty ●

  • buckdr said...

    what exactly is that on the back of the car?

    That, is a fuel pump, my friend

    signature image signature image signature image

    loosebelt12

  • loosebelt12 said...

    That, is a fuel pump, my friend

    Holy #$&!

    buckdr ●

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