The Front Row

Yeah, I was but I always had I'll show you attitude. I was bullied for being piss poor, a nerd and being skinny. I was a great athlete and smart kid in the classroom. I overcame being bullied by showing my bullies that I was smarter than them or I was a better athlete than them, which surprised most. I also beat the shit out of one before. Plus I had two older brothers who sharped my fighting skills to make sure that I would never be bullied again.

I call bull shit.

My parents started me in school a year early and I was always, by far, the smallest. Meaning I got my fair share of bullying. It mostly ended by the time I reached high school though for two reasons.

1) I learned that just throwing down right off the bat with anyone who tried to pick on me helped. Most bullies (not all) are afraid to get hit back. Even though I lost the majority of the time, you're getting beat up on anyway, might as well get some good shots in of your own. It earned me a reputation for being unpredictable. Since admittedly, I sometimes took this approach at the perception of being bullied, when it might have been just good natured ribbing. I feel bad about a few of those now. But people started leaving me alone. I have a three year old son, and was just talking with my parents about getting bullied and said how I wished I learned this sooner. My mom said, you never told us you were getting bullied. I said, yes I did, dad had to so up to school and talk to the principal. Because I didn't go to the bathroom for the entire 7th grade year. The 8th grade bully used to slam me into the urinal anytime I tried to go, so I just held it for a year. If I had a time machine, the first place I would go would be 1988 and swirly the f**k out of that wannabe goomba. My catholic school was 100% women teachers, so unless you told, the boys bathroom was the spot in the school where there was no adult control. But it goes to show you, sometimes kids try to tell their parents things and they don't always hear them. Parents, make your kids talk to you, and listen to what they tell you.

2) I was lucky to be a gregarious and likeable kid with a good sense of humor that could make people laugh and was pretty decent at sports. So I made lifelong loyal friends easy. And lucky for me, one of my best friends since kindergarten turned into the biggest bad ass around by the time we were 15 or 16. And he made it abundantly clear to everyone, that if you had issue with me, you had issue with him. Unfortunately, this did allow me to be a dick on occasion (not often), which I look back on with regret. But on the side, he used to beat the crap out of me. Nobody made me tougher and he taught my how to think in a physical altercation, not just go swinging crazy.

So by my junior and senior year of high school and after, I don't think I got bullied a single time, by anyone. I got in plenty of fights, but it was never bullying. I just ran with a bunch of scrappers.

I learned one thing I will teach my son. Bullying is a pack mentality. And it thrives on fear and indecision. The majority of the pack is afraid to get hit, either physically or verbally. You identify the alpha dog and attack it with all your fury. The majority of the rest of the pack is more afraid than the person getting bullied, they are just happy it isn't them, and they will back off. And to always stand up for your friends and family. Even if it isn't the popular thing to do. Never leave someone you care about standing alone.

Cyber Bullying has added an all new level for bullying. I agree with another poster, kids go home and get bullied in cyberspace. I think it's actually a lot worse than 'face to face' things at school because you can take yourself out of that situation or stick up for yourself face to face. In cyberspace, it's out there forever and there isn't much you can do to retaliate or to stop it.

I was a small kid growing up and heard my fair share of ''shorty, small fry" type stuff or worse things. Honestly, it didn't really affect me too much that I can remember. Sometimes I fired right back, laughed it off with them, or just ignored it. If anything, I used it as fuel to fire other things in my life. Academics, athletics, etc. Maybe it's a mentality I have, but I think I realized at an early age that those people's comments didn't really matter that much.

Physically, sometimes it's worth it's weight in gold to stick up for yourself. If some kid is pushing you around, even if you get a beatdown, throwing a punch or two does have it's dividends. No one wants to get hit in the face, not even a bully. The guy/girl might think twice if he knows he's gonna get punched. I'm not condoning getting in a fight every time someone makes you angry, but there is a tipping point.

How does cyber-bullying work? I don't understand it. Does one kid make fun of another over the internet? Is that all it is? Why can't the other kid just fire right back? Why aren't there any repercussions at school the next day?

I understand that its a big deal. I just don't understand why nor do I understand how kids can't stand up for themselves.

Can someone explain?

A bit of advice for people fighting against bully's, haha. Take it like the ''Dazed and Confused" movie. If you know you're gonna get beat up, start the fight in a way where after a short amount of time the fight will be broken up so the least amount of damage will be done to you, ha.

Playmea, in the world of facebook, twitter and whatever other places these kids are on, things can hit in rapid speed. If you can get 5 or 6 of your friends, tweeting and fb-ing someone over and over. Or making a page dedicated to making fun of someone, it's just a whole new level.

I was thinking the same thing, lol.

I'm with you. I have no problem with parents teaching their kids to fight back. They have to stick up for themselves. Plus, a little scuffle in the backyard at the age of 10 is not going to get your kid killed. He might take a shot or two...get a black eye or two...get a bloody nose and lip. It won't kill him!

Just talking about this reminds me of my fiancee's niece. Everytime this little girl falls down her whole family (definitely not mine) quickly runs over to her to make sure she's ok. I am scared this little girl is going to grow up looking for mommy and daddy to solve all her problems. So I have to open my mouth (I shouldn't), and tell everyone to stop giving her so much attention when she falls down (unless of course she is actually injured). They look at me like I'm a heartless prick. I am just trying to help...

Never been bullied, but been picked on for various things over the years. Much of that stops if you stand up for yourself. As I got older and bigger, most kids stopped bothering me individually. I did however, put myself in between "bullys" and individuals several times. There is a bit of a pecking order to some degree with some guys out there...for whatever reason. Its those individuals you have to stand your ground with. I've always believed the people that just sit around and watch this crap happen are just as guilty as those who do it. I'll take a ribbing as well as anyone and laugh about it, but we all have our limits. I can say this, the times in my life where I had to make a stand and did...not all those situations worked out well for me. lol. However, I've always had the attitude that if you're going to beat my azz, that's all well and good. But, I'm getting mine though. You don't get to walk out of that situation without experiencing some pain...and I guarantee, I don't fight "fair".

I don't condone fighting necessarily and I realize that times have changed. Now days, kids are taking guns to school...which is scary. However, I think a larger problem is parenting...or a lack there of. There are to many single family parents, to many family parents that work multiple jobs and leave the rearing of their kids to their schools, teachers and/or leave the kids to fend for themselves. The family unit isn't what it used to be. The core values our parents had and their parents had haven't gone away, but they just aren't instilled or practied like they used to be. People are having to do what they can to survive in this economy, but the negative is that our families and our kids are taking the biggest hit for it.

I can't even fathom what I would do as a parent if I received that call;. But I can say it would likely be irrational and emotionally charged. God help you if you are in my way.

I sympathize with parents who don't want their kids to endure these things. I think they forget their duty. Sometimes they prioritize protecting the child instead of raising the child. When do you let the bird out of the nest to try its hand at flying/falling? Sometimes parents wait until its too late.